1. |
Wave Existence
03:17
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I am here.
Always and forever, I'm beating with this heart.
Always and forever, beating with this rage.
Never to be of concern.
I am too much to bear.
I am the ultimate testament.
Revel in my glory, in my holiness.
I am the thing that you once sought to be, always and forever.
Beating with this rage.
Always and forever, I'm beating here with the essence of God in my arms.
Why? Was I cursed?
Why was I cursed when I have never seen such an atrocious sight in my life?
I have never had to deal with such innocence.
The arrogance is overwhelming.
I swear, demons, to be the only one who ever felt a paragon like I.
Why be this? So I differ from these words that you would scream to me. I want to be there but I am so distant from the world I was from.
So distant.
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2. |
Fear
03:56
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7:36 Am
I watched her die in the back of my head. I blame myself for not being the man that I know I should have been.
Never will I see that beautiful face so perfect again.
Staring back at me with the eyes of what was once infinite.
There is this line that separates a living dream and a reality.
No one has seen what I have seen and I pray that it stays just that same way.
There was nothing more liberating than seeing your face for the very first time.
I will break through.
I must break through.
And In that moment when I watched you take that step back from life, I felt the unbearable amount of pain course down my whole spine.
If I could have ever imagined this loss; what this reflection
would show.
I would never..
I would never be me again.
My mind is only searching for the answer, but the solution is impossible to decode. Will I ever break through? Can I break through?
I wish I could just be with you.
But you're not there.
The farther I run, the more clear my imperfections become.
This awful sight sits inside my head.
The chills down my spine will just progress.
I have lost all the limited time I had left.
I have lost the most precious thing in my life.
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3. |
Misanthropy
05:27
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Isolated moments in time remind me of Nervous systems that vessel anger.
This old disorder rarely displays, but brings you back in me.
I see my reflections everywhere I go, only to expose all the truth and bone
That lie beneath the exoskeleton of everything I know
You shine like a thousand suns through every pore, seeping through these calloused hands.
The surfacing
The possession
The embodiment
of a past that will forever live with me; linked as constants and variables.
The reason why you still show slows my breathing. You've brought destruction of a well being. You dug a hole in a spot that used to be filled with so much more.
Chills still pulsing through me, I've never felt so far from home. . Try to find a place to rest my head but I'm still too far from home.
And to think that I can't connect anymore. I see nothing in anyone, and I feel passion for none.
I make attempt after attempt for acceptance, for guidance... but only absence remains. Nothing to fill that spot.
Nothing to fill that spot.
Chills still pulsing through me, I've never felt so far from home. . Try to find a place to rest my head but I'm still too far from home.
There is nothing for me here, left not in a desolate place but a vacant state.
There are oceans between myself and all others.
Chills still pulsing through me, I've never felt so far from home. . Try to find a place to rest my head but I'm still too far from home.
Still too far from home.
Decomposing, sick and alone
Lungs throbbing and bones rotting.
Find my solace and rest my head
From a throne to a deathbed
My time has come, my hope has gone.
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4. |
Absence
05:31
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Choked up on emotion, holding back on rage. Constant struggle, conflicting in my head. Falling in a void where I cannot see. The pressure on my bones makes me want to collapse.
There's a steady mix of chills down my spine, and a burning of the skin on my neck. If I could put the all the words together they would drain out my each and every breath.
Sit and reflect as you realize
At one point this was nonexistent
Sit and reflect as you realize
At one point I was nonexistent
We were once ideal,
And now we are lost.
We were once ideal
And now we are lost.
This has never been the entity of my existence, nor the reason at which I regress. This is simply the feeling that lies inside, the bane that wants to progress.
And I know
This rage consumes all
And I know
I would have let go.
But It’s getting harder
To fight as I lose motivation to win
Strip me of
My care
So I can free myself
Of the sin
Of loving
A creature so calloused
If you could just see
Exactly the impact on me
You might have just found
The lock that fits your key
At times im filled with certainty
and in the rest I am so empty
but all I want is solidity
and in the end life is just brevity
I sold a soul that wasn't mine to sell.
And now I can burn
In the depths of hell.
Despite the fact that I know exactly where I stand
I am lost
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